The Dragonfly

 

Painting by Vasili Aleksandrovich Kotarbinsky

She walked to the edge of the lake and stared endlessly at her own reflection. She made numerous faces, trying to find herself again. She did not recognize any of the faces staring back at her. She had become her own stranger. When did it happen? She wondered. She sat down on the nearest rock and continued to stare at this stranger. The face that was staring back was the face of a failed woman, sad, unhappy with the choices she had made. At first, this woman was demanding, an action taker, then just as sudden, the face changed into a sad pathetic shell of a being, and she pondered how she’d gotten here. She had it all once, the whole American dream… then one day, it just vanished. She has no memory or awarness of it happening. does not remember it happening. It was all gone. She was alone, for the first time in her life and she had no clue of how to start living. She had lived in other’s shadows for so many years. She had lost her identity long ago. She knew diapering and the house keeping. She knew nothing else. She had become nobody. All those years she had been wasting away. Various lovers had come and left her with a wounded heart. Friends she thought she had long one by one disappeared. She felt she was no longer interesting for even witty repartee. Tonight she can see herself by the lake rotting in the dark like the leaves under her feet. She wants to feel free, but the face in the reflection mocks her, it tells her it is too late for dreams. All her thoughts, actions and hopes led to this moment before her acumilated nothingness; it starts to scream at her that she is nothing but waist. She begins to believe all these lies; she succumbs to the slowly decaying figure in the reflection. Her body begins to give, her face is sunken in like the reflection, her skin goes slack, and it begins to putrefy right before her eyes. She tries to cry, but her tears are long gone, wasted on the vultures that had preyed on her leaving deep marks on her body, mind, and soul. With a strenuous lift of her head, and she looks at the face again, one last time, and catches a tiny glimmer of hope, an almost insignificant tiny twinkle. She looses herself to it, surrenders her soul, her heart and body to this small glimmer. It begins to grow, slowly engulfing her face in this beautiful glow. Her face is coming back. She finds her honest smile! She slowly rises, allowing the glow to completely flow through her body. Her prayer has been answered. She has become what a beautiful Dragonfly! She finally has wings and feels free for the first time since she was born. She is a reflection of her old self, but better. She is no longer enslaved to anyone, she is master of her destiny and she is going to take this world and make it her own. She will have everything she always wanted. Her transformation has finally begun.