Maria Scott Herndon: Fabric Of Being

The reality in life is that people are almost always too close or too far away.  Proximity invites conflict. Distance invites loneliness. Distance is yearning. With distance I can be selfish, I can own myself so completely there is no other reality than the one that exists in my head. It can be perfect and I can revel in the pain of the idealist, holding onto what comes next, of what could be. It also means that I guard myself against the world. It means experiencing highs and lows, strength and weakness, in sometimes feeling each moment so strongly I can lose common sense, my misery can be so sharp I forget to notice where it falls into joy, where I am the mood, where I'm passing through agony and bliss so rapidly I forget the movement exists at all. I also will make mistakes. Many of them, many many of them. The point is to get close to people because ultimately the best moments and worst moments in my life involved other people. It becomes clear that I can’t do this witho...

For those of you that don't recognize your party since Trump took over, I want to let you know something. I respect you. I may not always agree with you but I respect you. I'm not going to Trump bash in this post. In fact, there were some Republican values back then where you and I would probably agree; Personal liberty Personal resposability A strong defense without ballooning the National debt Strong relationship with our allies Strong stand against our enemies So as an olive branch I extend a link to " Words Matter "  a new podcast by two ex-Republicans that I respect immensely Elise Jordan and Steve Schmidt. They dropped out of their beloved party when they couldn't recognize it anymore. On their podcast they talk about how to bring back the party of Reagan, McCain....the party of Abraham Lincoln. As for me, I'll always be a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat. I'm quite proud of my party these days. But hey....I respect the struggle.

Venting (again) I'm trying to find a job. I go the interview prepared, bring a notepad along to take notes, etc. but it seems like no matter what I do I get absolutely no where. I call and follow up. If they have voicemail I leave messages..but they never call back. The last job I went in for to interview, I was thrilled to get that far. Then I (and evidently the potential employer) noticed that I was the only person in the place over thirty. :( "Young and slim" are what companies aim for, because they apparently think the public doesn't want anyone else to serve them. :-/ Its just as well, the job was to answer calls from people who's pet just died and would be arranging to pick up their dead animal AND while in that process, try to sell them a plot in a "animal cemetery". I'll pass. Oh yeah...and I don't speak Spanish. I worked at the snack bar for awhile selling hot dogs to bowlers. Good honest work. But my knees couldn't take it...

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. Resistance can be a tough cookie. She’s not always pleasurable. She’s usually the advocate for a lofty or seemingly unattainable ideal.  Oftentimes working with resistance for me means complete acceptance of starting just exactly where I am starting. That means, no matter how much further along in the process I want to be, or how frustrated I may feel with not knowing or understanding the ride I’m on, that I embrace with complete love where I am in the process. AND more than that, I must completely surrender to where I am in the process. There is a little girl that lives inside my head. She holds the very important job of managing me. She manages my mind, my thoughts, my emotions, my experiences, my memories, in essence, she manages everything that happens with my mind because that’s her job. She spends her days...