Today

Today, I will love my curves. Because I have them. Because I am them. I am the swell of the hip and belly. The meandering lines of the my waist. The voluptuous arc my chest. Even the sweet turn of my shoulders and neck. I am that never ending ride from top to bottom and back again. A labyrinth of the flesh.

Today, I will love my curves. In doing so I honor the receptive powers of my nature. The divine vulnerability and the great strength it requires.

Today, I will love my curves. Every single one of them. The ones that I have cultivated. The ones that I have shamed. Even the ones I forget exist. I will love them all. And the way they have supported me. Caressed my very being. I will own them.

Today, I will love my curves. I revel in the gravitational pull they hold. And know magic that is created in their movements. I allow myself to be seen. To let the eyes of the world find me and drink me in without shrinking in fear. To be visible. To be desirable. To be me. Wildly. Pleasurably. Totally.

Today, I will love my curves because I have not always. There were days of wishing them away. Sucking in. Praying for less while devouring a cupcake. Because I owe myself for the lack of appreciation of my ampleness. And I choose to love what is rather than pine for what is not. Today is a day of worship of the miraculous physical landscape that is my body.

I'm So Glad God Gave Me You

Sammy was diagnosed with Aspergers about six years ago. We've known all his life that he was "different.". Brilliant and odd and dresses a bit strangely has trouble making friends yet all who meet him take a liking to him.

His capacity to focus on what intrigues him is unmatched by most. However, the list of what intrigues him is very narrow and specific.

Also, I've often wondered; How could one young man be so smart but have trouble washing his hair or brushing his teeth? How could he be so intelligent but be incapable of holding down a job in real life?

I wonder if he'll ever find his hunger...his drive.....his motivation.

Before he was diagnosed, I remember feeling so confused. Why wasn't he turning out like our other kids? Why didn't his intelligence translate into more success in the real world?

Now at 22, I have my worries for him. I see his life passing by. He spends his time researching on the computer, wanting to watch only the news and its atrocities.

He does have a passion for the world and feels a strong sense of altruism. 

I am trying to find a place for him to be active in this regard within the city he now lives with his brother.

A Letter To Sam

I'm so glad God gave me you.

My beautiful Sam expresses all alone,
He lives in a world that’s all his own

My beautiful Sam doesn’t quite fit in
Schools and rules were never made for him.

My brilliant Sam already knows by now
He is to be a different man somehow.

I want him to build a life he can be proud of
Find his purpose find some love.

My gentle Sam, my sweet son
I want to see him free and watch him run.

There is so much passion, so much pride
So much possibility inside.

I'm so glad God gave me you.

Mom

Friendships

One of the most frightening things in the world is losing a friend; especially when it ends on a bad note to the point of breaking your heart. Perhaps this is why some people never get very close. They stay so far apart there’s never a chance for them to heal.

But still, we all want love. We strive for the in-between point in which friendships are in no danger of falling to pieces. The point where truth is no longer more important than the saving of hurt feelings and lost loves. However, truth is what true friendships thrive on most. Truth is the one thing we all want to hear yet few accept.
Truth is an important aspect which lives in the best and closest of friendships. If the truth cannot be told without losing the friendship or the love, then there was never a friendship, never a love to lose. Yet we somehow forget this for the sake of keeping one more person closer to us. I've been guilty of this and trust me, the price too high.
If the truth will be told; most would rather have a group of acquaintances they call friends rather than have very few true friends close to them. Truth should never be taken lightly, yet it’s almost never taken seriously. Truth in "friendship" is not always a simple, black and white issue. Each person has their truth from their perspective which passes through their filter created by their upbringing and prior experiences. Then there are those that see someone else's truth as kindling for drama,
Having said that, I still feel that those pure of heart and clean of soul need never lack for true friends.

Yet, there are so few true friends left.

WHY I’M BACK

Alright, so I guess it’s no longer a secret that I am back to blogging.
Life got in the way. But sometimes you have to step away from something in order to regain your inspiration. But now I have a job and a new environment.
Over the course of this summer I felt the urge to start writing again. I like being able to share things in this space even if only a few people are reading.
If you’re reading, thanks for coming back! 

Feel free to leave me a comment with what you would like to keep reading about and see in this space.

What Emotionally Stable People Don’t Do:

I've always try to be tuned into the world and the people around me. I constantly listen and observe, listen. Like the rest of us, I want to learn what to do and what not to do.

Here’ are some things I've noticed that emotionally stable people don’t do:

They don’t take other people’s behavior personally.


The truth is, the way other people behave and function is not about you.  Most people are so caught up in their own problems, responsibilities and struggles, that the thought of asking you how you’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind.  They aren’t being mean or uncaring – they’re just busy and a bit self-centered at times.  And that’s OK.  It’s not evidence of some fundamental flaw on your part.  It doesn’t make you unlovable or unworthy.  It just means that some people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own egocentric bubble. 


They don’t get caught up in petty arguments and drama.


When you encounter someone with a bad attitude, don’t respond by throwing insults back at them.  Keep your dignity and don’t lower yourself to their level.  True strength is being bold enough to walk away from the nonsense with your head held high.


They don’t get stuck thinking the world is ending.


Sometimes the darkest times can bring you to the brightest places, your most painful struggles can grant you the greatest growth, and the most heartbreaking losses of relationships can make room for the most wonderful people.  No matter how difficult things seem, there’s always hope.  And no matter how powerless you feel you have to keep going.  Even when it’s scary, even when all your strength seems gone, because whatever you’re battling in the moment, it will pass, and you will make it through. 


They don’t try to escape change.


Change may not be what we want, but it’s always exactly what’s happening.  The Earth does not stop spinning.  And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.  Or, saying hello will make you more vulnerable and uneasy than you ever thought possible.  Most of the time, change is the only thing that will save your life and allow you to dream and grow and succeed and smile again.  Life changes every single moment, and so can you.